So I was checking this girl out. You know. Catching glances, smiling, talking shit, flirting, stuff like that. Yesterday we ended up having lunch together. She looks in my plastic cup:
“What is this, chicken?” 

“Potato wedges”, I replied, “I don’t eat meat.”

“Are you a vegetarian?”

“No, I just dont eat meat.”

“Well then you are. I’m a vegetarian as well.”

“Oh cool.”

“You eat fish?”

“Emm, no, meat, remember?”

“You’re vegan then.”

Oh Jesus, this shit again: “Vegan…?! What… How do you… Listen, fish is just much as meat as is beef. An animal dies and thats that.”

“No, meat is meat and fish is fish.”

“No, c’mon what the hell…?!”

“Well, gastronomically speaking meat is meat and fish is fish. And if you don’t eat fish you’re vegan” 

You know how you fancy someone from afar and then they open their mouths and the whole illusion just falls apart, crumbles to the ground and buries you under? Plus it’s gonna haunt me as well as we both work in the same shopping centre and every time she’s gonna walk past with that fine ass, oblivious, I’m gonna cry a bit inside because I’ll know I might’ve just had it if only I would’ve said what I thought of, in retrospect, when she asked me if I was a vegetarian: “Hell no! I could stuff myself with some fresh pussy all day long!” and seal the fucking deal. 

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